童话
Check out my INNOCENT look then
Stage performance with my 1ST CRUSH, it was a Chinese cross talk which i haf forgotten the title, unfortunately
My childhood frens, of which I oni kept in touch with the big eyed bunny beside me.
After so much trouble, I've finally managed to get these photos up. Juz becos blogger does not allow me to upload them directly from my pc as the upload page never failed to hang. Suddenly felt like putting up my childhood photos, dated in 1987, simply becos I've met and spoke to some of my childhood frens, from my kindergarden and primary school at my primary sch classmate birthday party at BEDS pub at MS. Had a good chat with the big eyed bunny in the 3rd pic (XL), and spoke to my 1st crush (SH) on the phone, and was pleasantly surprized to find out that she is already a mother of 2 daughters. Gosh, 19 years already, and we are all living our own lives and pursuing different goals and ambitions. Me and XL could not help but to talk about the people, teachers (谢老师 on the 3rd pic) and our old days in kindergarden back then. Honestly, i gotta thank my teacher then as well, for selecting me and giving me the chance to perform on stage at the age of 5, and helping to nurture my self confidence since then. My guts were so much greater than wat I have now. I remembered I did not feel the slightest fear when i stepped on stage to represent my kindergarden in the National Chinese Story Telling Competition back in 1986, or during my individual story telling and cross talk with SH. Whereas now, I got pretty nervous even when i sang solo at KTV hall (usually for the 1st song at least).
After a while, we began to talk about our love life, and sad to say, XL's love life has been tough, even though she's neva lack of suitors. She was telling me about how 'hardcore' guys could be terrifying. Hardcore, does not mean what people like to see in XXX movies. It simply means those 死缠烂打 (aggresive) type (in courtship) who neva fail to send her flowers, smses of affectionate words, phone calls to always wanna date her out, or shower her with mushy words, or even gifts to herself and her family members, all just to hopefully win her heart over. Of course these people can never win her heart, not because they are not generous enuff in their gifts or words, but simply becos she was terrified. Because she felt suffocated, and felt that her privacy was invaded when guys got too possessive at times, leading to some irrational behavior.
I do share same sentiments as her, and I do sympathize her, because i know how the feeling was like. What happened to her was that there were times then when she got reali terrified and traumatized when she felt that something was constantly 'glued' to her body, sometimes she got so terrified that she became afraid to receive sms or phonecalls from those pple, all becos many of them overly possessive, to the extent that she began to feel disturbed and uneasy.
From my perspective, It is understandable that emotions are difficult to control sometimes, even for myself, but from those failed relationships of my frens and loved ones, I realized that there need to be a balance somehow, and we muz not hold on too tightly in a relationship, becos this will only strangle the other person. As adults, I no longer long for 'fairy tale' relationships which kids love to watch on tv. A sense of security and comfort is what we should be looking for.
In relationships, I believe in giving each other adequate breathing space and sufficient privacy for the other person to spend time with her close friends whom I might not even know, all based on absolute trust (until the trust is broken of which no 2nd chance will be given). I still have to admit that up to this point, relationship is still not my No.1 priority, no doubt my 'eyes' have already opened.
She also asked me the same question many many people have asked me b4.....
Q: "y aren't you attached"???
A: "Well, only a type of gals particularly attract me and earn my admiration---I admire and am attracted to gals who display a certain strength in life; the independence and strength to perservere in times of difficulties (i used the example of many Malaysian gals leaving their hometown to pursue education or earn a living ON THEIR OWN), and the heart and mind she possess in herself that eliminates any possibility of her being labelled as AIRHEAD ( i simply cannot tolerate AIRHEAD, no matter how pretty she can be) or SPOILED/ WICKED."
I thought it was a good answer.
But she replied" then i believe it's going to be very hard for you to get attached"
me: "Fate shall decide, I'll do my best to make sure that i'm not a poor lover nor a poor husband to deserve such standards i set"
I feel that it's good to end off with this song titled "对的人" meaning 'the right one'
May all my loved ones find their 'right' person in life.
对的人
作詞：姚謙 作曲：Keith Stuart 編曲：Keith Stuart
演唱：戴愛玲/本多Ruru
你問在我心中 是否還苦惱
那次受傷 否決了愛的好
謝謝你的關照 我一切都好
一個人 不算困擾
愛雖然很美妙 卻不能為了寂寞
又陷了泥沼
愛要耐心等待 仔細尋找
感覺很重要
寧可空白了手 等候一次
真心的擁抱
我相信在這個世界上 一定會遇到
對的人出現 在眼角
那次流過的淚 讓我學習到
如何祝福 如何轉身不要
在眼淚體會到 與自己眯瞗
愛不是一種需要 是一種對照
愛雖然很美妙 卻不能為了寂寞
又陷了泥沼
愛要耐心等待 仔細尋找
感覺很重要
寧可空白了手 等候一次
真心的擁抱
我相信在這個世界上 一定會遇到
對的人出現
誰願意為了一份愛付出去多少
然後得到多少並不計較
當我想清楚了時候 我就算已經準備好
放手去愛 海闊天高 oh~~ya~~
Listen to this song here
posted by harky @ 8:38 PM
1 comments
Taken in 2001 before KKJ disrupt to study in NUS. Now he's a teacher to be
